12/4 Update: I Listened to the Billboard Top 10 So You Don’t Have To

Photo Credit: Cubankite / Shutterstock.com: Shawn Mendes attends The BRIT Awards at the O2 Arena in London, UK.

By Gianna Beltramo

I Listened to the Billboard Top 10 So You Don’t Have To

Hello, and welcome to my column! I’m Gianna and I have frequently wondered what is going on in the world of popular music, and this is my attempt to figure it out. Every other week (and yes, I know that the Billboard lists update on Tuesday, which is highly unfortunate because it means that I’m doomed to forever be at least a week behind), I will be rating the top songs in the US as well as dishing out a steaming hot plate of commentary. (Please note that in the event that the Billboard doesn’t change that much, I might also do some music video reviews or something else on the side to spice things up a bit. On a similar note, when I was reviewing the songs, I did not watch the music videos to stop that from influencing anything. This is about the music.)

10. Lemonade - Internet Money & Gunna feat. Don Toliver & NAV

See 10/25 

9. Blinding Lights - The Weeknd

See 10/4 

9. Savage Love (Laxed - Siren Beat) - Jawsh 685 and Jason Derulo

See 10/4 

8. Monster - Shawn Mendes & Justin Bieber

I was fully expecting this song to be as bad as...well, let’s just say I was pleasantly surprised that it was better than Holy. The “minimalist” (in quotes because it wasn’t really that minimal) path they took with the instrumentals was a choice I can appreciate, as it puts more emphasis on the background vocals. The fact that many of the lyrics don’t rhyme troubles me, but that’s just me being nitpicky. Overall, I am not looking forward to it being on the radio every thirty seconds (that hyperbole makes no logical sense), so I’m just going to try to forget it exists until our next fateful meeting. What an odd way to describe a song. 83/100.

7. Laugh Now Cry Later - Drake

See 10/4 

6. Holy - Justin Bieber feat. Chance The Rapper 

See 10/4 

5. I Hope - Gabby Barrett feat. Charlie Puth

See 10/4 

4. Positions - Ariana Grande

See 11/6

3. Dynamite - BTS

2. Mood - 24kGoldn feat. Iann Dior

See 10/4 

1. Life Goes On - BTS

More Kpop! I’m starting to wonder if all BTS songs really do sound like workout music, if this is far too small of a sample size to tell, or if my definition of workout music is simply wildly incorrect. The high-pitched voice in the background is very annoying. It’s easiest to hear at the beginning, but it happens many times throughout the song. This song is better than Dynamite, at the very least. It would be right at home in one of the “aesthetic songs” playlists that have flooded my YouTube recommendations as of late. 79/100.

A Cumulative Ranking

(Songs are ranked on a scale of 1/100 based on how much I personally liked them, as well as whatever comments on the actual quality of the music I made.)

Blinding Lights - 95 (A)

I Hope - 91 (A-)

Laugh Now Cry Later - 89 (B+)

Positions - 88 (B+)

Mood - 87 (B)

Monster - 83 (B)

Life Goes On - 79 (C+)

Lemonade - 73 (C) 

Holy - 68 (D+)