Athenian Schoolteacher Leslie Cushner Reflects on Experience With Cancer

It was a seemingly ordinary summer day when Athenian’s Leslie Cushner, currently a World Literature and Buddhist Thought seminar teacher, was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. Little did she know that the challenges ahead would prove to be a testament to the strength of her beliefs and a learning opportunity for those around her. 

Leslie’s journey with cancer started with her diagnosis in late June. Albeit a shock to her, things looked optimistic from a medical perspective.

“I was diagnosed very, very early, which was great. It meant that there were only some cancer cells and so there was no tumor to remove or anything like that. I had surgery and did chemo almost prophylactically. They said, ‘Let’s just make sure we wipe out any cells,’” said Leslie. 

Despite the sudden news, she managed to mentally overcome her initial diagnosis without much difficulty. She credits that feat with her devotion to the principles of Buddhism. 

Leslie said, “I think I came to terms with it pretty quickly. I would say I had a 24-hour period where I was a little bit freaked out, but for the most part, I was able to use my Buddhist practice to examine my thoughts and see which thoughts were helpful and which weren't, like, Why is this happening to me? or, This isn't fair, or I don't want this. I quickly realized those thoughts were not helpful.”

This would only be the first hurdle on Leslie’s journey to conquer the disease. Leslie would go on to complete several rounds of chemotherapy, taking a toll on both her mental and physical well-being. 

“I had six rounds of chemo. I obviously lost my hair after the first round, which was a little bit hard. Emily Shinkle, once my hair started falling out, buzzed my head. That was kind of fun. But it was a little hard because it made me feel not like myself anymore. I didn't really recognize myself when I looked in the mirror,” said Leslie. 

And when she got to the later rounds, she faced even tougher obstacles. 

Leslie said, “I felt extreme body aches. Kind of like when you are coming down with the flu and you just feel so achy. And the neuropathy. Neuropathy is numbness in the hands and feet. The dogs loved it because I would drop things and they got all kinds of food off the floor. The feet were really hard, and the feet are still coming back. When I move, my feet are extremely sensitive. It hurts just to get up from the toilet, and there are only a few pairs of shoes that feel comfortable. And my energy hadn’t come back until the last week or so. I finished chemo November 14th and it’s April 24th, and it's just in the last week that I noticed my energy rise again.” 

Leslie wasn’t alone. Throughout her journey, close friends and members of the Athenian community were there to help support her through tough times and make sure she stuck to her Buddhist mindset. 

“Can I model this in a way that is in line with my beliefs, which shared, which is the dharma, the Buddhist teachings, which namely is, can you see value in every experience? It doesn't mean every experience is going to be positive. In Buddhist language, we say, can you bow to it as your teacher? That was what I aspired to do. And I'm really proud to say, with the support of so many friends, I can. Janine came every day and walked the dogs. Maria took me to chemo twice, and with the support of this very loving community and wonderful friends, I was able to live through it beautifully,” said Leslie.

Some of Leslie’s students also demonstrated compassion in whatever ways they could.

Leslie said, “My sweet advisory also brought me this giant card. It was really sweet to know that people were thinking about me. Some of them wrote me notes and Google Chats. I didn't expect that, but it touched my heart.”

Currently, Leslie is on medication, waiting to see if her treatment is completely effective. She is very open about her experience and views it as an opportunity to help those around her face adversity.

Leslie said, “There are so many things that we seem to get so fixated on, whether it's your dog having eaten your favorite sweater, or your team losing the championship. Whatever it may be, there are so many little things that are constantly affecting our moods, and they’re all so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. One thing that cancer has helped me do is to clarify what is important to me, like the time that I spend having tea with students or talking to them in the classroom. I used to feel that sometimes those other things that I had to do at school were taking me away from the time that I got to spend with students. I used to get almost angry at things that I felt were not a good use of my time. Now though, nothing seems like a huge deal anymore.”

In other words, Leslie said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”